Also, I’m picky as hell (when you’re educated to the doctoral level, for instance, you’re going to be looking for someone with significant intelligence).
And there are plenty of things about me guaranteed to cause daily match surfers to lunge for the “next” button – as in, we know that a substantial percentage of American women don’t find bald guys attractive, period. Since there’s nothing I can do about some of these things (short of leaving Denver and joining Hair Club), I decided to go straight at the issue as best I could. Here’s how I began: The great thing about Match is the chance to meet women I might never encounter otherwise.
And that’s when this meeting took an interesting turn…First, some back story, before we get to that unexpected twist that happened at the end of my talk.
As a fully impotent cancer survivor with a female partner, we have been speaking to men, women and couples about sex, intimacy and relationships for years.
As a result, many women find themselves facing shrinking social circles and needing to make new friends.
In other words, we find a void in our lives and no easy way to fill it.
Having good friends is not just a “nice to have” – it is essential for our health and emotional well-being, as I discussed in this interview with Suzanne Braun Levine.
The good news is that having a rich social life after 60 is absolutely possible – but, only if we take matters into our own hands!
Like many women, I often feel like I have 100’s of “friends” and no-one to share my deepest dreams and fears with on a daily basis. Despite all of the challenges, it is still clear that making friends and maintaining worthwhile relationships is essential after 60.
Given that our own relationship fulfillment (emotional and sexual) continues to be beyond our most ardent dreams, we are always curious to see if other couples where the man has impotency are having a similar experience. Every woman we have interviewed over the years who has been with a man with E. or full impotence –and who has not slipped into despair or victimhood, describes them as “The world’s greatest lovers!
” Okay, I know, this sounds very self-serving given my condition, but stay with me and you will see why this response is not that unusual.
– – –See the author’s TEDx Talk on Creating Extraordinary Intimacy in a Shut Down World– – –One of the more rewarding things my Partner Jacqueline and I do is speak to cancer survivors and their partners around the country about regaining intimacy in the face of their cancer.
Last Wednesday evening I was speaking to such a group in the wonderful town of Blue Ash, Ohio.